she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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