After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
