I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
