I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
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I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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