I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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