i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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