seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.