Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Someone's got a whale tail

(1-314): View more from Missouri

A thong is hangin out?

(314): View more from Missouri

No, a fatty following them

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(314): Someone's got a whale tail (1-314): A thong is hangin out? (314): No, a fatty following them http://tfl.nu/cyed

Replies (8) Good night (845) Bad night (1125)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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(832): Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!! http://tfl.nu/7qkz

Replies (21) Good night (573) Bad night (2321) Order T-Shirt
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(408): View more from California

just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious

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(408): just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious http://tfl.nu/av2y

Replies (11) Good night (4456) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
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(319): View more from Iowa

Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.

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(319): Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk. http://tfl.nu/a04b

Replies (13) Good night (5057) Bad night (1440) Order T-Shirt
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(207): View more from Maine

so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.

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(207): so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable. http://tfl.nu/pqak

Replies (16) Good night (5008) Bad night (1118) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..

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(760): You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching.. http://tfl.nu/8ueu

Replies (11) Good night (913) Bad night (4061) Order T-Shirt
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(304): View more from West Virginia

his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.

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(304): his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on. http://tfl.nu/aue5

Replies (8) Good night (720) Bad night (3613) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.

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(630): I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts. http://tfl.nu/1rjt

Replies (2) Good night (1777) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.

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(541): Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk. http://tfl.nu/effc

Replies (6) Good night (932) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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(812): View more from Indiana

Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.

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(812): Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair. http://tfl.nu/ggur

Replies (5) Good night (1486) Bad night (484)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.

(740): View more from Ohio

Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.

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(740): Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint. (740): Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint. http://tfl.nu/vk5s

Replies (22) Good night (683) Bad night (5278)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..

(856): View more from New Jersey

i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.

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(856): he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio.. (856): i wasnt really sure how to responde to that. http://tfl.nu/m794

Replies (9) Good night (500) Bad night (1515)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends

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(908): Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends http://tfl.nu/ooil

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(830): View more from Texas

I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?

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(830): I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy? http://tfl.nu/wl4s

Replies (13) Good night (2112) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
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(989): View more from Michigan

If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.

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(989): If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals. http://tfl.nu/so0f

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