there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship