I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?