i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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