Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
