Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't think brook has ever known best
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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