Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
