then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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