This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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