Moan for me like Helen Keller
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm passing your future prison.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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