i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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