I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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