i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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