when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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