He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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