u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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