My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Enjoy the penises
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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