my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
