Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
