i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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