At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
