I accidentally burped into my bong.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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