yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have aggressive nipples.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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