I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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