His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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