I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
