Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
