Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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