Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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