I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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