Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
