Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
