Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
