If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize