Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
