Me. At least after what I've been through.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
