Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Oh god it's open bar.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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