I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize