i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
