forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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