If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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