Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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