Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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