You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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