Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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