You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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