So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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