Are we in a gay sports bar?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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