I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize