He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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